When I am on the brink of confusion and awarness

I feel like I'm on the edge, just a like the edge of a cup ... or fence. You get the point. I dunno which side I'll fall into. I know the feelings are true but at the same time I deny. I go through these feelings so often that I confuse myself.

I have feelings that I store up in my heart that no one knows about except for GOD who always sees the depths of our hearts and still loves us unconditionally, which is incredible and amazing.

I want to get off this fence and walks forward but I can't . I need something that could take this all away - time. To get time I need patience.